Cougars and Dating?


Somewhere along the line we’ve all heard the term “Cougar” in relation to older women dating younger men.  The question begs to be asked WHY would an older woman want to date a younger man?  The answer is Because We Can!  Baby Boomer women are looking good, feeling good, and want a man who can keep up with her.  It seems to be quite acceptable that older men want to date younger women so why not older women and younger men.  AND because there may be more sexual chemistry,  younger men may be more relationship oriented,  wanting to settle down, and possibly less baggage.

Sexual Chemistry: With dating a younger man there may be more sexual chemistry as opposed to a man your own age where dating can almost feel like warm fuzzy slippers.  A woman in her sexual prime wants more than fuzzy slippers in a relationship.

Masculine Pursuit: Younger men have sufficient testosterone and they are chemically and biologically wired to pursue women.

Bonding and Commitment: Younger men may be more attuned to bonding and commitment.  Men in their late 20s to early 30s are in the prime marriage-seeking time of their life.  Many of them actively desire a relationship with an attractive woman with some emotional and relationship maturity.  There are many younger men who have not yet been married and thus have less baggage in the form of ex-wives and children.  They are still climbing the corporate ladder and really appreciate a mature woman who knows how to entertain and are not in competition with you over your career; that can be really attractive.

Parts of this blog have been excerpted from

Now this blog will not do justice  unless I point out some cons to dating younger men.  I have dated younger men.  One was 20 years younger and one was 12 years younger.  Here are a few of my cons:

Generational differences:  I grew up watching Gunsmoke, Lawrence Welk, and The Rat Pack to name a few.  If I’m dating someone 20-25 years younger than me there are going to be big differences in what we relate to in the form of television, movies and music.  That’s not to say I don’t like those  movies and music, and I can relate because I have one child in her 30s and one in her 20’s.  BUT I don’t want that “deer in the headlight” look when I reference a movie or TV show from the 60s and 70s.

Relationship Oriented/Partying: A lot of younger men still have some maturing to do.  Many of them are comittmentaphobic and like to party.  I’m working at undoing the damage I did to my body by drinking and smoking for 30 years.  They (not all of them I’m sure) are not so tuned in to the damage that partying will do to your body.

Settling down and raising children:  I have raised two children and am not interested in raising any more.  I think many Baby Boomer women feel the same way.  There are probably men in their 20s and 30s who don’t want children but there are some who have small children and are divorced.  I’m not even ready for grandchildren yet.

Now  you baby boomer women have some pros and cons about dating younger men.  Don’t worry if someone calls you a Cougar – just go out and have some fun dating!




6 comments on “Cougars and Dating?

  1. Good stuff! My experience of dating a 28 yr old when I was 22 was interesting. I felt so smart and compelled to act mature. Later I dated a 21 yr old when I was 32. She had my eye as well as every other persons eye. Each was a learning experience!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Cecil. Yes I too believe that those experiences can be learning. But they were your girl for a while. I have to admit, the 12 year difference with the younger guy came when I was feeling a little low. His attention boosted my ego and I was a little sad when he moved on but he was very unhealthy for me so it was a good thing!


  2. The flip side is “Hey 19,” the Steely Dan song about an older man and younger woman, although, sadly, the song makes it sound rather pathetic!

    Hey Nineteen
    That’s ‘Retha Franklin
    She don’t remember The Queen of Soul
    It’s hard times befallen the sole survivors
    She thinks I’m crazy, but I’m just growing old

    Hey Nineteen
    No we got nothing in common
    No we can’t talk at all
    Please take me along when you slide on down

    The Cuervo Gold, the fine Colombian,
    Make tonight a wonderful thing

    No we can’t dance together
    No we can’t talk at all


    Liked by 1 person

  3. Will I can say that this seems like an interesting blog post. You gave some good points when you added the pros and cons. cs5711.


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